BabyGirl's View: What defines a "friend"?



What is a friend? The dictionary definition means one attached to another by affection or esteem but to me, it means more than that. A friend is a term that is used lightly especially “best friend.”   I looked up the words meaning and Urban Dictionary says it best:

Best Friends are very special people in your life. They are the first people you think about when you make plans. They are the first people you go to when you need someone to talk to. You will phone them up just to talk about nothing, or the most important things in your life. When you’re sad they will try their hardest to cheer you up. They give the best hugs in the world! They are the shoulder to cry on, because you know that they truly care about you. In most cases they would take a bullet for you, coz it would be too painful to watch you get hurt.

When I look at this, tears flood my eyes. I did have this type of friend…once upon a time. I’ve known my “best friend” for 10 years. I met him in 2002 through an acquaintance and ever since then, we clicked. There wasn't a day that went by that we didn't hang out together. We laughed together; we cried together; we made plans for the future. We had always said that we would grow old and be on the road together because the nursing homes couldn't handle us. He was the first guy, outside of family, to hold my daughter for the first time. When things gotten rocky, we’d always bounce back from it and keep it moving, but we, as Boyz II Men would say, have come to the end of the road.

June 4th, 2012 was a day that I would never forget. It was the last time I saw my best friend. I remember walking into his house and I remember looking into his face, and it was someone that I never seen before. We talked and he ask me to make a choice and it wasn't what he wanted to her.  So I walked out the house and we hugged and the last thing I said to him was “I love you and you will always be my best friend.”  I refused to believe that our friendship was over. It wasn't until I ran into that I knew our friendship was done.  I remember the look in his eyes when he said, “I miss you. It’s good to see you.” I knew he was lying to me. When you know someone for 10 years, you know.  When he walked away, I walked to the car and cried.  I just couldn't figure out how  you can spend so much time with a person, and once they didn't do what you wanted them to do, you just drop them at a drop of a dime. It took me a really long time to let him go. I wish him nothing but the best and I know he’s going to do great in the things that he wants to do.  

Will I ever find a “Best Friend?” Yeah. Will I ever find another friend like him? Probably not.  Do I still miss him? DUH! Have I moved on? I have. If I had to do it all over again, would you? I would.

 Eight months ago, I couldn't answer these questions because I was still holding on to the friendship that was. If I were to keep holding on, I would probably still be waiting on him to call like Snow White waiting on true love’s kiss. I learned that if someone really loves you and cares about you, nothing or no one would get in the way of that. Too many people in your ear or in your business can really ruin that. Guard your friendship like it's a relationship. What happens between you and your "bestie", stays there. That's what makes your bond so special. 



1 comment:

  1. My opinion???....Friends are overrated....Bottomline....IF someone is meant to be your friend.....they will be...Time should change nothing about a TRUE friend. If a "Friend" leaves you alone, for whatever reason....then they was never a TRUE friend to begin with....

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